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Why You Want an FWB

Updated: May 30, 2019

Warning this post talks about sex. 

Shhh don’t tell anyone. Worse, it talks about casual sex with FWBs - Friends with Benefits. I know shame on me.

Lindsay, a character from my novel, wants to share her thoughts on FWBs and why she uses them when dating.


I can’t get enough sex. I love sex. My body craves it, needs it, demands it. I love men. I love everything about them. The way they smell. The way they feel wrapped around me. The way they sound. The way they taste. I can’t get enough of them.

However, most of the men I meet online are not boyfriend material. They are emotionally closed off. They have demanding careers. They are looking for a specific woman and I’m not it. I’m seeking a certain kind of man and they aren’t it. There are so many reasons why he isn’t the one, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun.

Some men are Studs some are Duds.

I’d rather have sex right away and find out if he’s a dud or a stud. No use getting all emotionally entangled to find out he isn’t any good in the sac.

The young boys are too inexperienced and insecure to know how to please a woman, however they are teachable and when you teach them they are like rabbits. I don’t mind being their Mrs. Robinson. I just don’t want to be teaching a young buck long term. What can a boy give me besides a never ending F***? Not much. We aren't in the same place life cycle wise.

The guys in their mid life crisis phase are too selfish to be good lovers. They don’t care if you’re having fun. They just want get themselves off. A selfish lover is the worst kind and if I come across one, it’s never a repeat engagement, no matter how much he calls me the next day.

Older men know how to please a woman, they just don’t have the stamina to keep up. That might be why they spend so much time on foreplay and using their fingers to do mind blowing things. Mind. Blowing. They are creative, however, they can’t exactly keep it hard and I like a large, thick, hard… Well you know.

When I find a guy who knows what he’s doing in the bedroom, one who can blow my mind, I keep him around, even if he isn’t boyfriend material outside it. That’s why I have more than one FWB. You know, friend with benefits. A guy you call up and go over to his place to hang out and get f***** right. Where when you leave, you're not expecting him to call the next day because quite frankly, you don’t want him to.

My Favourite FWB.

He’s about 56 years old and owns some kind of business, don’t ask, I don’t care what he does. He lives down the street from me in a beautiful condo overlooking the bay. He has great taste in art and an Interior Decorator to die for. In fact, I stole her to give my place a much needed face lift.

He isn’t interested in falling in love. He doesn’t want a girlfriend. He definitely does not want a wife. He likes his place and his life just the way it is. Drama and problem free.

I love his c****. I’m not too crazy about him. He only talks about himself and doesn’t much care about my life or making sure I’m happy. Satisfied yes, happy, no. His number one rule – Keep your problems at the door.

Why do I bother hanging out with him? He’s hot. He’s sexy. And when I leave his place, I can barely walk and I’m intoxicated from the amount of released chemicals pumping through my system. I don’t love him, don’t even like him much, but I sure love getting F***** by him.

I have a few guys like this, each one f***s me a different way. Some are better than others. Each one fulfills a different fantasy.

What’s wrong with that?

Your Thoughts

Back to the author of the series….

Personally, I’m not emotionally detached enough or masculine enough to survive such an arrangement. I know this about myself. Knowing yourself, understanding the nature of the arrangement, and not hoping for more, are necessary for success. I know some women who are quite happy with these types of arrangements. It’s part of their dating game plan and it works for them.

That’s the great thing about people, we’re all different.

What is your opinion on the topic?  Put in the comments section.

Update: This post is originally from 2015 - since then, I've followed Lindsay's advice as I've become emotionally stronger and better with a life on my own. It works for me as long as the man doesn't fit into my life and it doesn't matter to me if he loves me or not. Shallow yes. Sometimes you just need some attention though.

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post was originally published in 2015.


Shannon Peel is a Professional Marketing Manager and Storyteller. She has authored three novels in three different genres. Her company, MarketAPeel, helps Independent Professionals and Small Businesses define their personal brands and tell their story through different channels.

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