Updated: May 4, 2019
I should have headed this dream and reflection from 2010, which I found in an old journal.
Last night, I dreamed that we moved into our new place and it was located in my hometown, a small town in the middle of nowhere. My husband was thrilled and driving me nuts, I was unhappy, very unhappy. What I was feeling didn't matter to my husband and he got violently pissed off because I wasn't as happy as him.
I miss Calgary, my friends, my house, my job, my life there. Vancouver isn't so bad, it just rains a lot. I love that the flowers are out and there are so many different plants here. I know that once we are in the house, once I've made friends, and once I have a job things will be better here.
I know it was just a dream, but I should be excited about the new place and all the changes we are going to make. I feel drained and tired. Two days to go 'til the possession day and I just don't care.
Another entry the day before the dream:
The relocation to the Lower Mainland BC has been a long haul for our family but it's finally coming to an end, we take possession of our new house in 3 days. Since its been months of unsettled living arrangements I should be thrilled, but I don't feel excited or anything for that matter.
I've been packing because I know I have to pack, not because I want to. I've picked paint colours and looked at flooring samples but I feel detached from the whole process. I drive by the house everyday - twice - when I drop off and pick the kids up from school, the house is right there in front of me but it doesn't feel like mine.
I've packed up our home for the 3rd time in less than a year, this time for the last time. I've gotten so used to living with boxes of stuff it feels normal to not know which box marked kitchen a bowl is in.
I have to wonder, if I can't get excited about moving into our new house, will I ever be excited about anything?
It's now 2019 and not only do we no longer live in the 2700 square foot dream house, we are divorced and not talking. I've been single for 6 years now. My ex lives in a large house in the middle of nowhere and I live in a small apartment in the downtown core. Prophetic dreams should not be dismissed so easily.