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On Being 40 Something

Updated: Jun 11, 2019

Google it

What’s the easiest way to find stories about being 40 something? Google it.

In Googling ’40 Something Women,’ I was provided with a list of famous celebrities looking gorgeous, successful women who look confident, and stories of women who are emotionally healthy as they overcome the hiccups in life. All of whom made me depressed and anxious because I’ve achieved none of that.

I read one article called, Inside the Mind of a recently separated 40 something woman and found someone who at the same age had the same insecurities and doubts that I’d had:

When I got separated, I temporarily became a person who doesn’t define who I really am. I was beyond insecure. I had thoughts like, ‘I’m 41. Who is going to want me?’ I looked in the mirror one day and I felt really, really old and tired. I felt defeated. I didn’t feel like I was attractive on the inside or outside.

She was able to get over her insecurities because one man kissed her and dated her for a few months. I didn’t have that. I have failed attempt, after failed attempt. All of which make me feel worse, more insecure, and fill me with fear of being alone for the rest of my life, unloveable.

My friends, regardless of their marital status, have insecurities, doubts, regrets, and are still striving for the success they want so badly. We all have disappointments, daily challenges and others whom we put before ourselves.

We all sacrificed something in our lives. Some sacrificed career, some sacrificed dreams, some sacrificed having children. Can we get back what we sacrificed or is it too late? Are we too old?

Now that our children are older, we are looking at our lives and wondering what about me? What do I want out of life? What did I miss? Did I make the right decisions? Is this all there is to life?

Who says only men have midlife crisis’?


That’s where the idea for the novella series 40 something comes from. From my own journey of self discovery. From my experiences and those of my friends who are married, single, divorced, and dating.

I want to write something real. Something that will touch women going through what I am and what other women are. Something they can identify with and use as a way to start thinking, start talking, start answering the question: What does it mean to be 40 something in today’s world?

Writing is a Scary Thing.

There are those who write and whine about how terrible life is, how sad they are, how hard done by. There are those who write about a small insecurity they overcame and how strong they are for it. There are those who write about the shallow world around them trying to impress others. None of these types of people is me.

Then there are those of us who dig deep and try to discover the answers to life’s questions by baring our souls without shame to the world. Our stories become something truly amazing. That’s the kind of writer I want to be, amazing.

I want to look at the reality of the situation. I want to see it for what it really is. The good, the bad and the ugly, as the movie says. I want to bare my soul and in doing so, I want to write something that will touch the souls of the women who read my words.

My books are fiction inspired by reality. I take the stories about 40+ year old women whom I find in the world and twist them, work them, and merge them to create a fictional story. One I hope you will identify with and find your own answers to life’s questions.

What does Being 40 Something mean to you?

Please take a moment to share your stories, thoughts, and feelings about being 40 something in the 21st Century in the comments section.

How is being 40 today different than when your mom was 40? Your grandmother?

What is the greatest challenge you face?

What is it that you want more than anything and have not yet achieved?

Are Relationships Worth It?

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Read Excerpts

post was originally published in 2015.


Shannon Peel is the author of #ThatsLife a novella series about five women navigating life in the 21st Century. Get your free ebook download. or purchase other titles in the series

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