Updated: Aug 17, 2019
Is it better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all?
My friends love men and find themselves hurt by them on a regular basis. Almost daily my phone rings with stories of betrayal, insecurity, and miscommunication. I listen, offer comfort, and give advice. Some of their stories about the selfish men they date make me furious and I encourage them to move on.
I know, dating is hard and loneliness can hurt, but it’s better to be alone than with a selfish, uncaring, person man or woman.
I have seen love.
I know good men. Men who love the woman in their lives. They protect, provide, and care for their woman. They support, champion, and scream out to the world about how wonderful she is. And she is. The women I know who are loved by a good man, are amazing women. They are supportive, caring, and respectful of their man. They are his cheerleader, his confident, and his best friend.
I have seen love modelled my whole life, in my grandparents’, my parents’, my uncle’s, my aunt’s, my cousins’, and my brother’s relationships. They have a partnership, which makes both people stronger.
Why do People Think I am a Man Hater?
I kick men to the curb quickly, as soon as their behaviour makes me feel bad about myself. It doesn't take much to do this and men seem to be playing a game of who can be the biggest jerk of the year. I attract the worst types of men, abusive men, horny men, and men in pain. I inhibit love because it takes more trust than I have to be open enough with a man about who I am. I have little patience for men who want a booty call girl and less patience for men who disappear and then reappear. I am Unlovable because I choose to not let men's bad behaviours into my life and walk away when they make me feel bad.
I am Scared of Men
I am angry at how some single men behave and how they don’t care about whom they hurt. The idea for the series #ThatsLife came about because of their bad behaviour. Everything from getting stood up to having my keys disappear so I couldn't leave. Men who wanted to feel better by making a woman feel bad about themselves. Even a man who sent me home and then called my friend to ask her to come over. It got to the point where if a man behaved badly my response was, 'It's going into the book.'
Do I hate all men? No, just the single middle aged ones.
No, I do not hate them. I struggle to understand them. I know there are some who don’t care about women beyond the physical and don’t care whom they hurt as long as they get what they are after. However, most men who are focused on what they want are looking for women who want the same thing. They don't want to deal with the fall out of hurting someone and the feeling of being told they are an asshole.
There are plenty of women who behave badly too.
There are very few single middle aged men who treat a woman like a lady. However, many weren’t brought up to and women punished them if they even tried to be chivalrous. The sexual revolution and feminism have freed women to behave like men and now men find what they want so easily, they don’t have to behave, love, or even commit, so they don't.
I get it. Doesn’t mean I have to put up with it. After all, online dating sites have lots of men and maybe one will know how to treat a lady properly. Until then...
I chose to be single.
Does that make me a man hater?
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