It’s 2:30 AM.
I’ve woken up. Probably some truck that went by or the heartburn. I hate heartburn. What can I expect when all I’ve eaten is crap and some ice cream to boot. I’ve been so focused on writing my new series, applying for marketing positions, and tweaking online marketing campaigns, that I don’t take the time to eat properly, get off my butt, exercise, do the laundry, or clean the house. I’ve even put one of my characters in the same situation as I am in. Hyper focused on one goal, work.
Doesn’t one get paid for work? I don’t get paid. I keep writing, applying for work, and marketing, hoping that my plans will lead to success. Not just as an author, but also as a content writer, a person who writes things like blog posts for companies. Freelancing. Free being the operative word. Small companies know they need to do it, so do large corporations, not many put a value on it. Corporations will hire someone at an hourly wage if you’re lucky to get on as a contractor. As of this morning, I’m not so lucky. Otherwise I’m looking at $0.03 to $0.05 per word on a hit and miss basis and most of that work, is going to India.
Marketing is a frustrating gig. You try things, measure the results, and try to do it better next time. There are so many people out there screaming at consumers, even content marketers who take a more passive approach, that it’s hard to be heard. If you aren’t heard then you are not doing the job and if you’re not doing the job, you are easily replaceable because there are so many of us out there.
I have so much competition in the job market and although interviewers are impressed by me, they pass me by. It is getting frustrating. I want to tackle a marketing campaign problem, come up with ideas and get leads. Tweak, test, and try new things. It’s the frustrating challenge that I love.
I wish this was an option but as a single mother, I need the guaranteed paycheque. I can’t risk an inconsistent income. Considering that I was laid off, is any paycheque guaranteed? It’s not like it was 20 years ago. It’s not like it was 40 years ago. The job market has changed and it is so fluid that it looks different every time you turn around. I’m getting too old for this.
People will hire companies led by experienced people, but company’s don’t always hire experienced people as employees because they are too expensive, too old, too something. It really is difficult.
Back to Writing
I want to be a writer. I want to be a marketer. I want to be successful at both. I just need consumers to buy my books and a company to take a chance on me.
It’s 2:30 in the morning. I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about writing, finding work, and living in Paris. Success in any of these three seems almost unattainable. I keep trying, I keep working towards my goals and crossing my fingers that by adding brick after brick, I will find success at last.
This post was written in March 2016. Since then I did find work, lost it again, and started my own company. I still struggle to find paying work and work from sun-up to sun-down on projects that don't pay or pay very little. I have no idea if I'll be able to pay my rent and it isn't a small amount because I live in Vancouver - downtown to boot.
I keep trying and keep proving myself to others with the hopes that one day I won't have to worry about where my rent payment is coming from.
Shannon Peel is the author of THIRTEEN a book about a boy and his mom caught behind enemy lines when soldiers attack their North American hometown. The story asks the question, what if it happened here? For more information check out her website. www.shannonpeel.com